The worst Star Wars Campaign - EVER: Disaster at Malastare

For the second scenario I used an adventure from the Instant Adventures books. The three players were taken out of jail to face the imperial officer who had "rescued" two them on the previous episode (captain Mothra, an slightly hypocondriac imperial officer) and Marka Dunn, who told them he had made a deal with the imperial officer in order to make them free, but they would have to part ways. The imperial officer told them that they also had to take with them "that stinky thing" (the gamorrean) while covering his mouth with a cloth. Afterwards they were dropped in orbit around planet Malastare (homeworld of the Gran and Dug species), so they decided to land there and look for a job.

They don't make stuff like this anymore Source: Wookiepedia

It wasn't long until an opportunity arised: a lone, shy Gran showed up asking if they could help him. After trying a diplomatic approach he requested the characters help him kidnapping her girlfriend: in Gran society everyone is given a task according to some tests they take, but he refused becoming a technician as he styled himself a poet. Of course, his girlfriend also wanted to be with him, but his father disapproved. The plan was for the characters to get some formal clothes son that they could sneak into a party that evening in the girlfriend's family villa, so they went to the mall.

After looking for formal clothing shops they entered one specialized in aliens. The store clerk had an initial misunderstanding with the gamorrean (he tought she was a male), but immediately started to measure her in order to make her a dress (yes, a gamorrean in a dress) while the other characters were checking the outfits already available... and then the door opened and a band of Gran in sportive attire entered there. One of them introduced himself as the girlfriend's brother, and told the characters he would pay them if they left the planet, or either they would have problems... and they left! (as my wife said when later realizing the Grant were the brother's university mates, "so we have been terrorized by a bunch of university students!")

Upon returning to the Graceful Flyer they decided that they had lied to the brother, but they couldn't get into the party because they would be recognized, so they would sneak in ninja style, and the gamorrean painted herself black (don't ask me why). Then the poet arrived with a repulsorlimo only to hear the explanations/lamentations of the players. The poet objected that the brother was a boastful moron, not the man of the house, and that there was going to be so much people at the party that probably no one would recognize them. So they left back to the mall, just to see the shops were already closed. They looked for the shop they had been in, and they saw there was a pink dress gamorrean sized at display in the shop's window. And then geniality struck: without telling anything to anyone, the gamorrean broke the cristal with her axe, took the dress and ran away with alarms ringing all around. I thought the other characters would go in and get any formal wear, but they just ran with the gamorrean back to the ship, where the poet was waiting for them with their repulsorlimo (which he in fact had stolen for the occasion, as he didn't have that much money, a fact unbeknowst to the players). So the human characters drove the car and dropped the gamorrean in a pink dress at a posh party...

After a few tense minutes with the security staff (they weren't sure something like that could have got an invitation), the gamorrean was permited to join the party. There she tried to pass for a civilized person (my fault: she should have been rolling alien species like mad).

On the right, how the player thinks her character is. On the left, how she really is. Drawing by Loopy Dave

In the mean time, the human characters were stopped by a local militia patrol, who informed them they were driving a stolen car. Fortunately (after being just one second away from being blasted by the "policemen") they opted to outdrive the authority representatives, something the pilot did with ease.

Back at the party, our gamorrean lady was able to locate the girlfriend, who told her to come back after the party so that she could reunite with her loved one. At that point the brother and his henchmen/friends arrived, so the girlfriend jumped on his brother's arms and instructed her to jump in a badly-dissimulated way ("Oh, thank you for saving me brother! Stop that alien (turning her head towards Victoria)before she jumps out the window!" (player doesn't get it) "JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW!" (now the character jumps out the window). Problem arose when the gamorrean went outside the villa's garden into the street and encountered three of the university students, who tried to punch her, so she opted to make three actions, punching all of them before they could act. With a 5D STR, disaster struck when the first punch killed outright one of the Gran, the second was mortally wounded, and the third one was "just wounded". On her last attack, the player rolled a 1 on her drama die, so I decided a militia patrol just turned around the corner at that very moment, watching the carnage.

WTF?

On her next turn, our "heroine" kicked the remaining university Gran, then ran away. She was able to loose the first patrol and aproach (on foot) the docks, but she was located by another patrol which was looking for a "gamorrean in a pink gown" (the player thought about throwing the dress away, but the idea of a naked gamorrean female running through the streets was too much even for her). In the end, she was surrounded in a park not too far away from the docks. There she told her companions about her situation, so they quickly decided "Fuck the poet! we're flying away!" and took the Graceful Flyer to the park so as to rescue the gamorrean, all this while ignoring the starport control tower's warnings or the the militia's blaster shots. Then he raced to orbit in order to jump away, while being pursued by a pair of Malastare's Z95 fighters (I have to say that the Gamorrean, with just 1D MEC and no skills at all, managed to ionize one of the fighters for one turn while the other kept closing in). While our smuggler desperately dodged the blaster shots, the pilot decided to use her force point and make an "ultrafast" astrogration roll, something she managed, bringing the characters out of the system and the adventure to an end.

So far, the PCs have earned less character points in two adventures than most people get in one...